our story
A Family Begins
Bill and I were what I would call acquaintances in college. It's funny, we did a lot of the same things with a large group of friends but it just wasn't time for us to really connect. After I graduated, I eventually started working for Rice Broocks. This job required a move to Florida. Being a Michigan gal who deeply disliked the cold weather it was an appealing adventure. I worked with Rice for a few years. The company relocated to Midland, Texas - where I went on a blind date with some guy with the last name Bush who thought he was the cat's meow because he was a Bush. We never made it to a second date. lol
I spent a lot of time traveling being a bridesmaid in many of my friends weddings. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mom and I'll admit I was bumming that I wasn't meeting Mr. Right. To make a long story short, I decided to move back home to the Detroit area and out of the blue Bill popped into my head. I found out he had also moved back to the area. In one of our brief conversations in the past we discovered that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, had some mutual friends and even worked two buildings away for many years. We often wondered how many times we had crossed paths over the years. Somehow I got a hold of Bill's number (this is pre-cell phones and the internet). I called him to get together with another friend of ours. Bill managed to make it a lunch date for just the two of us. We spent time walking around the mall, laughing and having a great time. By the time we made it back to the house my mom was coming home from work. Bill spent a little time with us and then was off in his cute sports car. As soon as he left my mom said, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
Now let me back track about 5 years earlier. Valentines Day. I had gotten out of a serious relationship and for some reason the idea to write down the Man of My Dreams popped into my head. I vividly remembering writing the list and re-read it many times over the years. There was only one physical attribute on there - he must be 6 feet tall. Funny thing is that I'm only 5'1" tall. Bill was exactly 6 feet tall! Another item on my list is that my mom would know right away. Now my mom had never seen or read my Man of My Dreams list. Sure enough the first comment my mom made is that I was in love with him. Is this all part of the Law of Attraction? Who knows. All I know is that it worked. Bill had every single quality I wrote on my list.
Bill and I were married 2 years later. He died just before our 25th anniversary. The picture you see on this blog is our last professional family photo before he got sick. When Bill finally went to the doctor he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He would not talk about dying. His motto was, "I'm healed, my body just hasn't caught up yet." Even when he was down to 150 lbs. and walking like he was in his 80's he managed to convince people that he was on the road to recovery.
Bill's final days were a nightmare. He was admitted to the hospital just before Valentines Day. Wow, it just hit me that God put the Man of My Dreams on my heart on Valentines Day and 32ish years later that man was on his way to be with God. Bill was so weak he could barely walk. Bill had been prescheduled for an intense radiation therapy treatment the next morning. I begged him not to allow them to do the treatment. I left the hospital at 3:00 in the morning to go home to get a little sleep and send the children off to school. When I woke up at 6:30am he had allowed them to do the treatment. This radiation treatment required Bill to be in quarantine so we couldn't go see him. His body couldn't process the radiation. They told me they had to take him to ICU and intubate him. What they didn't tell me is that he would be heavily sedated and for the kids and I to prepare to say our goodbyes. Bill blew us a kiss as they wheeled him away. That was the last communication we had with him.
In ICU he was radioactive. The hospital didn't know what to do. We weren't allowed near him. His body would not process the radiation. I had to begin making calls to family and friends to get to Orlando. I knew the time I had dreaded was finally here. Although Bill was unconscious we got to go into the room to say our goodbyes. This was where the nightmare really began. Bill was stripped naked because of the radiation burning his body. They put a small sheet over him to cover him up. We had to put on gowns, and gloves, and hats and things on our shoes. We had to stand behind a lead plate. We weren't allowed to touch his skin. The hospital timed us when we were in the room. When we came out and stripped off all the contaminated gear we had to wash our hands and get our bodies scanned for radiation.
Before Bill had died the hospital let me know that I had to let them know what funeral home we were using as the body had to be transported immediately due to being radioactive. My friends and I went to the hospital cafeteria and called funeral homes to see who could handle the task. Let me tell you, you don't get any deals in this situation. Even the casket had to be made of steel and have special things done.
When they unplugged the life support I always thought the person died right away. Not with my man. If he could have opened his eyes and talked he would have still said he was going to live until he was 90. He fought to the very end. Several of us were around him. We played some of his favorite songs. Told him how much we loved him. As time went on you could tell his body was in pain. We began almost begging him to let go. Ok, prepare yourself because this is a tear jerker. So my kids were 11, 13, 17 and 19. The monitor flatlines. Beep..... He finally let go. Our son, the 11 year old says, "Don't leave us Daddy." Bill's heart began to start again. The tears were really flowing by this point. We then had to ask our son to tell him it was ok to go. Oh boy. Even typing this my heart is racing and the emotions are flooding back. I actually physically felt Bill leave me. To this day I don't know how I didn't fall to the floor. It was like half of me was gone.
It's been a little over 2 years now. So many changes. Our dog died a month after Bill died. Then our bunny. We moved. A few months ago my cousin died. We were raised as brother and sister. The pain came rushing back when I got the call. This blog is about healing. My life has always been about helping other people. My hope is that through the things I've learned the past two years that I in some way will be able to help you.